Looking at your child is just as important as listening. Reply with visual cues, too. A broad smile when you are pleased will reinforce the message, as will a shake of your head when you say “No.” Your child’s auditory processing is much slower than yours and she needs short, concise instructions combined with visual prompts. “More juice?” as you hold up her cup works better than “Would you like some more apple juice in your sippy cup sweetie?” or “Aren’t you thirsty?” Using simple gestures or pictures will help your child process information.
You could point to a picture of a bed in a book when you say “bedtime,” or hold up your hand, palm outward, when saying “stop!” Some parents take this a step further by learning baby sign language, learning simple gestures for objects, emotions, and actions that both parents and child use. Some parents feel this really enhances communication whereas others worry it might delay speech.
Your stance, facial expressions, and tone of voice are how your child finds out what you are feeling and what you want from her, and being aware of this helps communication:
- Use a smooth, calm voice for normal, everyday talking. If you’re scolding your child, use a firm but calm voice that lets her know you mean business. A harsh, angry voice will make her defensive, and can be difficult to decipher.
- Make eye contact. It shows she has your full attention, and increases the effectiveness of your message.
- Sit or bend down to her level, so you don’t tower over her. Keep your arms open, rather than crossed, which can appear as hostile body language.
Keep communication simple: going at your child’s pace will keep her switched on, engaged, and eager to communicate more.
Just as your child’s facial expressions and body language can tell you what’s going on inside her head, so yours tell her what she needs to know. A warm smile, a rub of her back, a wink… they all let her know you love her. And that’s the most important message of all.
