However, as long as the occasional divergence from your at-home routine doesn’t cause too many difficulties, it is probably best to accept that when your child is with his grandparents, it is their rules that apply, not yours. It may irritate you that he doesn’t get to bed on time when they are taking care of him, but the main thing is that they are enjoying his company, and it won’t hurt him to be spoiled a little once in a while. In any case, his grandparents may not be appreciative of being left long lists of instructions by you. Even if you feel that their methods are a little out of date, rusty, or just different than your own, you should trust them to do what’s right for their grandchild. After all, they didn’t do such a bad job of raising you and your partner.
But just as you need to stand back to allow grandparents to be themselves with their grandchild, they may need to respect your way of doing things, too. You may not appreciate unsolicited advice or constant suggestions from them, and feel it’s important to make your own way and be free to make your own mistakes. Beware though of systematically disregarding their advice, since there may be times when they are an invaluable source of guidance when you find that you have no idea what you’re doing and are busy wishing that your baby had come with an instruction manual. There’s no shame in making use of their years of experience—some of the essential truths about parenthood never change, regardless of current thinking.
