The American expectation that babies need to be active, learn, and spend time away from parents means they get less sleep than babies in China, where rest and quietness, protection, and dependence have more emphasis; or in the Netherlands, where an early bedtime is sacrosanct. Bedtime routines are cultural, too.
Mayan parents in Guatemala let children fall asleep whenever and wherever; US and UK families tend to have set bedtime rituals to herald a parent leaving. Perhaps the most tricky expectation is for babies to sleep through the night—something almost all new parents crave.
Researchers say it is biologically inappropriate: until their first birthday babies wake for food and “socio-emotional” reasons. They are hardwired for sensory communication— tactile, visual, auditory, olfactory—even at night. Though it’s possible, through sleep training, to encourage your baby not to bother you at night, try to remember that, to an extent, night waking is simply a part of being human.
Babies are not ready to operate independently at birth, and since separation from the caregiver is one of the surest life-threatening situations, it’s no wonder the infant brain and nervous system is primed to protest.
Early parenthood is a time of adaptation: accepting inevitable sleep disruptions removes much of the associated anxiety.
If you are stressed about your baby not sleeping, many experienced mothers would say ignore the mind-boggling sleep charts and programs, and just do what feels right for you and your baby—whether that involves a bout of controlled crying or bringing your baby into bed.
As long as you are satisfied that she is safe, dry, full, and healthy, you are not going to introduce any long-term negative effects through your choice of sleeping method.
